but for real this time! Over the years, I have been pretty good at starting new things - not always good at finishing then though - but I was never afraid to launch something new... Well I thought. Truth is I was always somehow recycling a bit of the past into the new. I was never really starting from scratch, I was always building on something I've done before. Remixing the past into something new. Some people would say it's a clever approach, a way to leverage on what you have previously done and save some time... yes it can be. But it can also be a way to keep you in your lane, never allowing you to express something truly new. Indeed, building on the foundation of the past feels productive and even safe, but also keeps you attached to this past and repeating version of it, preventing you from actually doing something new. Preventing you to grow, I was craving some change in the past two years, not knowing really where to start. i would have sparks of inspiration but then my past will catch up with me, telling: you can't really leave all that behind, can you? Truth is I was afraid of leaving my confort zone, afraid of letting everything behind and dive into the unknown. And because my self-concept was one of a person that is adventurous, I was far from seeing what I was really doing. Until one day it hit me (in French) "Le but n'est pas d'abandonner ce que tu veux faire pour te concentrer sur ce que tu sais faire, mais plutôt d'investir sur ce que tu souhaites vraiment faire, même si tu n'as aucune idée de comment faire" Et oui! That moment I decided that I will go in the direction of my desires despite the fears, and despite nothing absolutely nothing about that new industry I want to invest: ART. I have been tiptoeing around Art for quite some time. During the pandemic I befriend a fine artist and we had long conversations about his practice, I would feel very energised but then could not really invest. Fast forwards a few years I realised something. I wasn't able to jump into the unknown because I was still living in survival mode. Art isn't a Luxury, but being truly creative is. Because when you are crowded inside with fears and doubts, you don't have the balls to jump in a totally new venture, even more if like me you have an aversion to waste. Art in itself is very wasteful, because you need to produce a lot in order to get "somewhere", a lot of tyrial and errors in order to achieve what you have in mind. Because the practice in itself is a challenge. Transforming the non material into material. A practice I have been always curious about and now that I finally found material stability, I can afford the luxury to create. I have enough space in my being to tolerate the risks and dare to TRULY start again :) I will document my journey on Instagram and soon on Youtube in French (connecting back with my roots) with english subtitles. I want to work with WORDS, paper, light, fabrics, and signs. Love letters as well. Thanks for reading BIG LOVE xx MAB
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